真的不敢相信, 今天, 就在今天, 我亲眼见到了:

 

PAUL GASOL. MANU GINOBILI. RASHO NESTEROVIC. DARKO MILICIC.....SO MANY NBA STAR PALYERS!!!

 

先看了 SINGAPORE VS AUSTRALIA, SINGAPORE 输了10多分, 不过 AUSTRALIA算是世界小有名气的队了. 这只是刚刚开始.

 

后来的一场 SERBIA VS SLOVENIA 的比赛, 的确让我们大开了眼界. 瞧瞧SLOVENIA 的快攻, 那是打得有章有法, 5号非常IMPRESSIVE. 在最后关头, 不是他的一个3分, 将比分大大超出, SLOVENIA 可能还会输. 看到了SLOVENIA 的8号NESTEROVIC 与SERBIA 11号MILICIC的中锋的对抗, 瞧瞧他们,2米10多的身高,一点儿不显笨, NESSTEROVIC 的脚步, 和MILICIC的三分, 都有自己的杀伤力. 比分一直不分上下, 最后SLOVENIA以3分的优势胜了SERBIA. 看到一旁的SERBIA的球迷们, 举着大旗为SERBIA加油, 听说最后还送SERBIA上了大巴.

 

下一场是ARGENTINA VS SPAIN.. 我们早早的就站在PLAYER ENTRANCE 等着GASOL 和 GINOBILI 的到来, 早听说了. 看看GASOL 还将自己的大腿露了出来...那是相当的扇情啊, 让我们等待的一刻!!! 就在这0.0001秒, GINOBILI 出现在场, 全场轰动!! 看到他们俩, 我的心愿了结了...

赞赞SPAIN 7号, 那3分, 直接将ARGENTIAN 送入地狱, SPAIN 真的是奇准!!

就不说多了, 看看照片!!!

回来已经一周了..

看着来来往往, 为自己学业疲于奔命的人们, 愿来自己也属于他们一类.

生活依然照久, 为了自己的前途, 也为了不让父母担心. 说俗点, 以后能吃好喝好..

开始正试的训练了, 真高兴, 又看到以前的队友...

给自己打打气, 加油.

生活充实了很多...

我爱新生活!~

 

话说这回家,除了在家养膘,就是在家养膘...

在家不像在NTU,那除了为所欲为,那还是为所欲为....

我是落伍了,什么VANS, 什么赤西-仁...看着他们滔滔不绝,牙都要说出来了...一点儿话都插不上...

不过这地盘还是我的，一混就熟了．见了不少以前的同窗，总节：女的都变漂亮了，瘦了，打拌一下，认不出了．男的ＦＡＳＨＩＯＮ了，各有志向．．

 

再说说世界杯吧,那是相当火热的...举国上下,那是欢腾一家,认不认识都在谈论.

不过俺最喜欢的球队OUT了.英格兰的都不会发点球,太背了.不过已经很不错了,能在10对11的情况下打得尤任有余,最后进入点球.他们太保守了,瞧瞧葡,那角度,简直就是打出了门框.ＧＥＲＲＡＲＤ,你为啥打这么正呢???软绵绵的...

不被看好的法居然赢了巴西.AMAZING...RONALDO不行了,早该换下,机会把握不住....

 

不过,无论中国球迷多么火热世界杯，中国永远出不了线了．．．说得不好听，中国球迷看世界杯，那就像是我小学时看＂Ａ＂片．看别人爽，自己也很爽，看多了，自己也想上．但是残酷的现实就是不允许．可是有一天自己真的上了，才发现自己真的是“心有余而力不足”。于是，只好继续看别人爽，让自己也跟着爽，甚至很多人觉得看别人爽比自己上爽多了，不是吗？呵呵．看着这四年一度的＂Ａ＂片男优大汇演，那是让人销魂啊，爽得有些同学加班加点，熬夜．不过女人看球那是看脸，男人看是看计术．大家融为一体，你爽你的，我爽我的．

 

明儿去西藏小游一下，１２日后回来．

顺便祝愿＂那＂位同胞：一路走好哈，哈日哈日．．

 

 

 

i just cant help publishing my two entries in one day..it is just amazing..cant help myself...

actually i have known this name only name for a long time, in CHinese they call it "Ge te". in english it is Gothic.

 

Actually there is a definition for the Gothic, the word Gothic is from German, early in the 18th and 19th century, Due to the Gothic revolution or they call it "Gothic Revival" on architeture and literature. They creat or dig out some sort of Gloomy melody..with the Gothic literature such as "The Castle of Otranto" by Walpole, "The Mysteries of Udolpho" by Ann Radcliff, All fo these work focus on cruel passion, and supernatural theme.

 

But the Gothic culture isnt anti christian, Many of the gothic songs and motifs are not SATANIC. However a lot of ppl will believe it otherwise...actually the music is about the emotions and spirituality. no religious boundaries. Of course we tend to over react to these musics, and more often consider them to be related to the Drugs. True that lots of Gothic listeners are taking drugs, well known deadly drugs heroin and marijuana, often used by all kinds of ppl, bussinessman, sportsman, housewives, mothers, fathers, even former ESPN employees..Taking drugs means nothing..

Drugs doesnot mean Gothicness. Generally Gothic man wears a lot of black clothes that is one way to tell, and it fu*ks the mainstream!

 

The real Gothic Music began in UK during 1980s, a kind of post punk genre. GOthic has lots of styles of sounds, common in all is Dark Sound. some kind of death rock. as the culture grows internationally, a number of mainstreams are influenced by it, including Mallgoth or Neo-Goths in the US, Cuervos in Spain, Dark In Latin America, gogans in Australia, and spooky kids or moshers in the UK. Among them, which are mainly formed by groups of young ppl.

Then from Japan the term COSPLAY is introduced, i can still remember some of my secondary schoolmates have joined the Cosplay once..

 

The very famous Goth band is Bauhaus. others are Siouxsie & the Banshees, Southern Death Cult, Sex Gang Children, 45 Grave, The Damned, so on and on...

Here are some nice sounds from Black Swan...

 

The 3rd one which is the last stand is actually nothing new compared with the other two series...just a very poor Xman series...whatever it talks about is all about thoese stupid superpower, what the hell is this?? sometimes in order to make a great shock to the audiences, directors tend to be more exaggerative, they made everything happen without any logic, the only thing that can be used to explain thoese supernatural stuffs, all the actors and actresses are given the superpower.

you know it is really really boring to watch this kind of movie. no fun. i have asked myself a question: what can i figure out from the movie after i have watched it?? what can i think about the movie?? nothing, Empty...the thread is so simple that you even do not need to bother about understanding it. you know why? this story comes from the kid's book..i have tried very hard to figure something out, maybe the only thing that i can ask the director is:

Why there are two groups of mutated "things" trying to eliminate each other while both of them do not want to be cured by human medicals??? remember the time the Roll went to cure herself?? only she goes..If so then who is the positive group, and who is negative?

allright, according to what i have learned in the cinematic course sometimes there is no positive and negative, the director just wants to express sth.  to us maybe a social issue?? maybe a kind of hope?? No all these thoses cannot be found..action movies and mutated species won, human stands aside..ridiculous

 

hahaha, i think even the director himself does not think about it...

You know why in the end the wolfman does not die?? director or story makes it..they give him the super power then he survived..what the hell?? imagine that you already know what will happen and consequencies of the movies..and in between it is just some sort of god fight...Lol..

if i rank this movie, i will put it 2.5 stars out of 5.

too lousy..

 

Today the greatest discovery in the human history!!! : This Shiiiiii guy Tiësto...

 

Only Today i know that there is a world level DJ Tiësto..

This netherland guy is punctuated by having achieved over 25,000 ppl solo stadium event. his  Sarah McLachlan's Silence even has become the international dancefloor anthem...He even played during the official opening ceremony of the Olympic Games in Athens!!!! bombbuster.

 

soooooooooo glad that he is such a guy that bring me up hi~~..Because this guy really likes travelling he has been around the world and influenced by a lot of cultural, so does his trance..

And his mix has been in new fashion for nearly 10 years...

 

his featured one is 'Delerium featuring Sarah McLachlan - Silence' ...wow:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxOifWCcRxs&search=DJ%20tiesto 

 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZmE3fUKU5U&search=DJ%20tiesto

 

 

 

Today is the 8th day of my DIP project. 23 days left to go, but i am already bored in the Fu*king lab..i can't imagine how can people stay in the lab for 8 hours a day, "playing" around thoses damn equipments..mayeb we should try to find some new ways to pass our time in the lab for the rest days.. some guys have brought their laptops, some even brought along their PSP...

 just not bad, so far we have progressed well, except some minor problems, like Robot's two wheels are not turning at the same speed, that has taken up us quite a long time.. we even need to change the whole VB code, although personally i think we really don't need this kind of language any more, pretty old already...i guess it's because our prof is specialized in this field, but it is really out of fashioned already..i know its not your fault prof..the technology is really growing out of its pace..too fast.

at this boring time maybe i need to post sth. to refresh myself..hohoho

 

i found the Manson Berlin show, and its fresh and unrevealed..check it out..for my own Rock fans..

"SHow Me the Way tO the NeXt LiTtle Gal, Oh DoNt AsK wHy....."

http://www.6park.com/enter4/messages/73712.html

 

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3qiWnplWHE&search=

Rabbit's foot, we still dont know what it is in the end..but just because of this myth to both Ethan and us, it sparks the story MI3. no way should anybody say it is not worth watching, just because of the greatest destruction ..bridges blowing up, Lamboghini explosion..wow..."that is really a good car" as Maggie said in the film...and it seems to me that all of the staffs have traveled around the world from US to German then Italy Vatican, all the way to Shanghai...and it shows the skyscrapers not stand in US but also in Shanghai..

~yeah, as the tile MI, Tom can always finish sth. that is impossible..swinging from one tower to the other, meanwhile killing two "People's liberation Army"; running through the bullets and missiles which are aimed at him like rain without any wound..survive from the missle accident on motor...too many i cant recall all of them from the movie..

it breaks the frozen atmosphere for audiences with a shocking start...then towards the end, it tells the story..it plays a trick on our sub-conscious that the big black boss is not always the real evil director of the event...which unlike the traditional film...

actually the most imperssive actor in the movie besides Tom, should be Hoffman..he is such an asshole on the screen...really identifies himself as weed..never can be eliminated, though he has only around ten minutes screen time.....at the other side, frankly speaking i like to see thoese actress more..especially MAggie..~~a irish and vietnamese which gives her a fatastic looking, sexy and cool.i must say that her acts in the vatican are really  bombbusters..riding the LAm Motor, dressing in red, rarely smile..

Overall. one thing i am missing is that why Tom is captured by the IMF outside the hospital?? for what reason?? it seems very confusing when they are attacked by the missiles and then got persued by IMF...

 

 

 

 

 

HOHOHO...it says Happy Living or Die...

it has been 4 days, i did nothing these 4 days. just sat in front of computer...looking these and thoese..maybe it's a kind of after exam effect..i don't know, i slept at 4 or 5 am, woke up at 2 pm...really lazy..

ANd i swear again i will never trust the MegaDownload again, i tried to use it to download "Good Charlotte" and other albums, every time it told me to wait..every time coudn't display eventually...

 

things gonna be changed, today  i forced myself to Library...today library is so so quiet...serveral people here...unlike the period before exam, when all the students craming here, seats are reall HOt during thoses days, but not now..

Wow..so many things got left for me to pack up...even did't have my brunch i stayed here, in front of the computer doing sth. at least i think they are meaningful..

 

hehehe...i am very happy that i found these Greek titles in some book here, and just copied them down here..Which means: Happy Living or Die..after been dead for 4 days i am alive today...

i don't want to stay in my dirty Gloomy room any more....it's just giving me a knid of hopelessness with some kind of newly downloaded Gloomy Techno Rock...If who wanna try these Gloomy Techno Rock..i sure you that you will be pissed off after listening to these Bull-shit...made by some German Guys..hohoho

 

while sitting in the Hss Lib i feel refreshed, forget everything...read some news do some projects...check out the hottest news tat happened around...

 

now i will try to add my entry twice a week or more..my blog is gonna die otherwise..

 

Check this out newest treasure i found today...rock by a baby voice...

 

 

finally i am released..maybe i am more mature than before, i didn't feel any thing special now..

usually, if the exam is over i will be rediculous, and crazy...this time, feel quite peace...

ya..one month later i will be in my hometown, and after i have been apart from my family for a year, i do miss them a bit..however, my parents are very happy that i am living a very colorful live here, although sometimes i am too busy that i missed a lot of tihngs..and i am also very happy that i have got a lot of friends here..

after i left my home i suddenly realized that my family is my support behind me...they can talk to me frankly, and therefore i also tell them whatever have happened here, they understand me, even that if i did a poor job in my exam. it really seems like my parents dont care about the exam as important as before for me..what they care more is me..

i am older than before after i have spent my birthday party a month ago...exactly..

which means my life expectancy is one year shorter now...

and god is very fair to everyone of us..he/she(i always wish god is a female, damn fair and nice looking) gives everybody equally the same time, shall we value it?? use it where you need it in your life...

i have experienced some thing, which is very very painful..i never tell anyone....i have also learned a lot from that, that is very unhappy and i felt very depressed and a kind of bounding...actually what everyone needs is just a peaceful life time and enjoy everything...and for me most importantly, my own kind of life style..

however i can see that i am the person who really can do for my friends..no matter what it is...but except fighting..(QTG you always fight..)

i wanna tell that there is really no need to care about so many 'fussy' things around..just live your happy life...you will regret a lot if you do really care about all of these...

you know sometimes it is like cutting your life time if you suffer from these...

just please do be open hearted...

life is more important than those 'fussy' stuffs...we don't want to destroy our life isn't it??

good luck and good mood..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

刚刚起来，昨天晚上的夜啤酒，不错。

吃得爽，玩儿得爽。

这就是我的完美生活。

对自己说：值了~

 

老百姓过得不错。

 

妈呀，真去做 TUtorial 了。

 

 

新年快乐

忙~

今天真的真的很高兴~

1。 课全选上了。

2。在对hall7 的ihg比赛中，我的5个三分球将hall7送入了地狱~~（please, hall 7 guy, don't be angry~. you also played a very good game)

 

这几天真的是不顺了。

没一天顺了。。

前两天MP3被我自己踩坏了

昨天打坏了东西

上午 application form 又不见了

 

大爷啊~~~

就在5分钟前我发现我的钱包丢了，第二次丢了~~

吃饭的时候从来就把钱包放在身上的，今天不知道犯了什么事儿。。偏偏放在了桌上

 

刚才想再去小吃一顿时，钱包不见了。怎么找，就是找不着。

突然想起放在canteen了。

 

抱着一线希望，去找找看。。没有。。

想或许是哪个学生捡去了吧。。等几天就能找回来。

巧啊

就在另一张桌子上，找到了我心爱的钱包。。

喜啊。

是我的。。

悲啊

里边儿空空的。。大爷啊~~~。。。  

 

除了matric card, 什么Ez--link, OCBC, cashcard 都没了。。

 

我还是要说一声：谢谢啊，给我留下了包儿和Matric 

 

说到我和中国的摇滚乐，还要从初一的时候开始吧。一盒儿黑豹的--无地自容，让我真正的痴迷于中国的摇滚乐。我还记得很清楚，在那段时间，整个大街小巷都弥漫着--无地自容。流行也罢，媚俗也罢，想起来我已经是满足了，在潮流中燃烧了自我。

 

开始的时候当然和很多后来喜欢上摇滚的朋友一样，觉得他们只是在瞎嚷嚷，这根本就不是音乐。当窦唯用他深邃的声音表达一种感情的时候，我学会了用心去听，跟着drumset节奏的变幻，吉他和贝斯的旋律，我找到了我们想要的东西。“也许是我不懂的事儿太多，也许是我的错”。窦唯： 如果说年轻的仅仅是我们，那么年轻的也绝不仅仅只有我们。

感叹啊：怀念窦唯存在于黑豹的那段日子。

 

随着对摇滚乐的更加了解，我又不断的喜欢上了西方的摇滚乐，Nirvana, Bon Jovi, Pink Floyd, Gun n Rose...我不能下定义说是中国的摇滚乐更有魅力，还是西方的更能引起共鸣。不同的人，不同的时代，和不同的文化。不过有一点是肯定的，他们都在反映着社会。

 

高中的时候，朋友给我推荐了一本儿叫“我爱摇滚乐“杂志。这书每次都送一盘儿cd，里面什么摇滚乐队的歌都有。大多都是地下摇滚录制的。其中乐队有叫： 旧彩电，收音机，砸，肖像无睾。不过“重阳”乐队的死亡蛮有创意的“你会死在美丽的那个早晨”。

 

这就是摇滚乐的魅力所在，摇滚乐是自由的，是疯狂的。没有一个人能给摇滚下一个严格的定义，没有一个人能束缚摇滚乐。

所以整个社会对于摇滚的概念都是模糊的，无论摇滚圈还是非摇滚圈。我们把这种生活在社会背面的音乐叫做摇滚。从起初的它表达朋克们对社会的不满，到一门艺术。

我相信它一定会成为一种文化的，至于以后能否进入小学课本儿，那还得看它对教育事业的影响。

 

但对于中国摇滚乐，它就像一个孩子的成长，越过树林，越过湖泊，越过海洋，有些东西成为他生命里永远的记忆，有些音乐成为他骨头里不变的髓。岁月恒久远，经典永留传。有些摇滚给我们的印记将永远不能从我们的头脑中抹去，音乐也好，垃圾也罢，我们不能忘记的，就是属于我们的，伤，或者痛，或者爱。

 

要说摇滚乐的发源地，无疑是京城。多少的艺人都无私的将他们的青春燃烧在这片孕育文化的土地上了。在那儿，你可以看到地下的摇滚乐队的表演，大多是免费的。就是自发的那种。从最早的崔健，到郑钧，唐朝，窦唯，张楚，许巍，高旗。最近听sunkurt说道郑钧，高旗，许巍都先后在京城举办了自己的音乐会，真有一种冲动啊。

 

崔健，堪称是中国摇滚乐的鼻祖，1985年，他推出了自己的成名之作--一无所有，这也成为了89年学生运动的主题歌。从此，中国的摇滚乐踏上了他的征程。

 

当然，89运动对于中国的摇滚乐的影响无疑是致命的。89年让那些还在追逐理想主义的青年们成为了现实主义者。用高旗的话来说就是“89之后，许多东西都变了。我变了，我的音乐变了。一些人还在写一些政治性很强的歌曲，但是这已经没有多大意义，现在我主要写一些反映自我生存状态的东西“。在过去的十年里，中国的摇滚乐向着更加成熟，多样化的方向在发展。它将变为一种文化，而不是单纯的媒体炒作，媒体文化。

 

后来我了解到，早在93年---一个扭转了中国摇滚历史的时刻，崔健和眼镜蛇带着他们自己的乐队去了美国，王勇则去了英国。从此，摇滚乐在中国就不再是一头怪物了，它有了自己的圈子，自己的风格，自己的主题，自己的意念，和自己的情感。

 

我个人认为，与其西方的摇滚乐的不同，中国的摇滚乐更多的是在抒发音乐人自己的想法。中国的摇滚乐并不像西方那样，在社会中可以引起如此大的反响。更多的中国摇滚艺人都不为人知，但他们依然在社会的间隙中演出、生存，许多乐队靠着家庭和朋友的资助过活---他们写自己的歌曲，但通常这些歌曲被禁止在电视和电台里播放。更多的私人情感，如惶恐、希望、孤独等等穿插在乐曲的旋律当中。想了一下，原因很简单，大陆的发行公司大多都不愿意发行摇滚的唱片，政治的敏感性太强了。在中国，流行音乐总的来说要比摇滚音乐好销。像崔健和唐朝那样的大牌儿，曾经也才销售百万张而已，不像王菲，一张专辑唱片销售超过4000万张。眼镜蛇乐队，尽管她们在中国有着巨大的知名度，但是为了推出一张唱片，居然花了7年时间。国内的摇滚乐手还没有哪位能够享受上西方同行那样的奢华生活。

 

打住，不提与政治有关的话题。

 

对于摇滚乐的风格，个人觉得，不可以搬照西方的摇滚乐。毕竟，西方的摇滚乐起源于布鲁斯，但我们的摇滚乐要留着东方的思维。就像唐朝乐队一样，重金属的味儿太浓，听起来感觉很不自然。特别是用中文来唱，总显得有点儿牛头不对马嘴。

听了许巍的北京演唱会录音后，觉得那种轻摇滚更适合中国摇滚的发展路线。带着那点点的忧伤，配合keyboard和贝斯，drumset 的效果，更加促进了人们肾上腺激素的分泌。很容易就high起来了。

 

这两天，从朋友那儿下了许巍的北京演唱会，被“今夜”这首歌完完全全征服了。

 

虽然到现在，中国的摇滚乐还是远远还比不上西方的摇滚乐，这就像社会主义的发展一样，再过个几十年，当我已经过了更年期的时候，再来回首，那时的它一定是顶天立地了。

 

 中国摇滚乐

游戏
游戏规则： 被点名在自己blog上写下答案，
并出一个题目，然后把题目丢给另外五个人， 并且到这些人的留言版上留下：“你被点名了。”
这五个人在自己的blog注明是从哪一个blogger那里传来的题目，
然后写下答案，并另写一个问题，再去贴另外五个人。
比如你自己回答14个题目，你回答完了再加一个，
被你点名的博友就要回答15个题目，如此继续下去
 

考试终于完了。

突然的一种非常想要把心中所有积压的东西都通通发泄出来。

发泄得干干净净的。发誓绝不提考试，不提学习。

一帮臭男人，臭是臭了点儿，不过可以无矩无束，想说什么就说什么。现在就只想放声大笑，我爱疯狂！！！

我爱疯狂！！！！！！！！！！！

 

首先当然要感谢这么多朋友在我的blog上留言，真诚的帮助。

最近发生了一件让我颇有感触的事儿。确实想说说了。

大哥出手了。大哥这人吧，我就觉得他在对待大事情上的坦率和那股大将风度让我觉得他很值一交。大哥最近心里不好受，因为事情发生的太突然，他（大哥）也没做好准备，所以当然是当头一棒了。所以他出手了也是理所应当的了。

 

 

人活着有什么意义，什么才是真正的快乐。

社会总是想着一双无形的手把我们制约着。我痛恨那些所谓的人品，特别是“虚伪的人品”。这些人他们总能很好的迎合社会，就向社会的走狗一样。社会说走左，他们绝不敢走右，社会说跑，他们绝对会忙不迭的跑。就这社会上我最看不起那些当官的了。在当官以前，还能像个人样儿，当他们一旦作了官，就变成不伦不类的怪物了。所有当官的都一个样，被社会扭曲着，同化着。真恶心。

以前高中的时候，曾经问过自己一个问题：人们都得像一个模子一样活着吗？如果不这样那又回像什么样子呢？后来我发觉答案很简单：被社会蹂躏，屈服于社会。原因也很简单，因为大家都这样，你不这样那你就被世界所抛弃。在鄙视那些屈服于社会的人们的同时，自己也像一个常人一样成为了社会的奴隶。但自己骨子里就是始终藏着一种不屈服。难道这就是我们的生活吗？那我们又为了什么而活着？

于是从我懂事那时候开始我喜欢跟学校的小痞子一起玩儿，为什么？从他们那里，我能得到很多得不到的东西，我能得到我的快乐，无邪的，我能得到那种他们常人看来是ＳＢ的义气。那时我发觉我真得很需要这些。我不爱和班干部玩儿，他们总喜欢制约你，为他们干事儿，好像和他们一起，自己就没了空间。我也很奇怪，这种用鸡蛋换大米做生意一样的朋友，他们也玩儿得很开心。。。那时候我逐渐感觉自己在脱离着整个集体。。我认为他们很多人都是虚伪的！！为了自己眼前的一点儿利益，也能像哈巴狗似的跟着他们。

当时我被一个叫贾宏声的演员所吸引了。原因很简单，我从他那里看到了我想要的。说他是演员，或许有些夸张，在常人眼里他也就是一各中央实验话剧团的。知到他的人不多。认识他还要从他的一部叫《昨天〉〉的戏开始。他的生活就是我行我素，从骨子里就透出一股藐视社会的气质出来。我欣赏他生活的方式，一种野性，一种自我。。他干事儿就是直，拒绝世故。他就像一个叫劲儿的哈姆雷特，从不向社会低头。用他的话就是：我就跟社会“死磕“了。他也从不为生活而拍戏，他可以一个人摆到郊外的大屋子里住下，没有电脑，没有手机，没有ｂｐ，就靠这中戏每个月发给他的几百块钱，抽２元一包的烟。。

从他那儿，我觉得，活着的快乐就是要寻找新鲜的东西，那怕是呼吸一次新鲜的空气。

难道这个社会上就着的没有反叛社会的吗？？我开始尝试摇滚乐，但很快我又发觉到他们也是虚伪的。ｍａｒｉｌｙｎ　ｍａｓｏｎ，ｂｏｎ　ｊｏｖｉ，ｌｉｎｋｉｎ　ｐａｒｋ．．．都是虚伪的！！虽然我很喜欢他们的歌，但是他们还是为了做音乐而作，为了迎合大众，做傀儡，音乐中带着浓厚的商业气息。有种你像　Ｋｕｒｔ　Ｃｏｂａｉｎ那样，为自己作音乐，在愤世疾俗时自杀。。来个一了百了。。。我在１７岁时，尝受了半年自闭的生活，除了上课，打球，整天就憋在家里，听着那些给大众听的音乐。当时我也认识了一个很很要好的朋友ＣＫ，他得了肾炎，不能运动，我们无话不谈，像两个天真的小男孩儿。有时真地说累了，我们又可以一天互相不说一句话，好像互相都把一种无形的怨气撒在对方上似的。我们用自己的语言交流，不去注重别人怎么看。我会用心体会那种绝症病人的无奈，他就像一块被绑在树枝上的布，被狂风任意摆布。。检查结果好，他会很高兴，但两天后，不好的结果又会让他痛心。。他就在这种不好和好之间被折磨。。我无法更深一部感受到他的痛苦，我也不能成为神医救他，人太渺小了。。

学习的压力越来越重。。。

当我有面对那些烦人的功课，和世俗的社会时，我冲动的搬了出去，自己住在远离学校的地方。。ＣＫ由于病情，退学了。。本想好好享受一下一个人清静的生活，慢慢的发觉，人的心灵是那么的脆弱。人的力量真的是太太渺小了，孤寂无时无刻的折磨着我。。。那时我感到烦躁。。。就常常出去散步。。但是最后我还是向社会低了头。。

社会到底是个什么？？我们为了什么而活着？？我承认我不能像贾宏声一样，跟社会“死磕“，因为我有情，我还想着对我期望颇高的父母。更不能像Ｋｕｒｔ　ｃｏｂａｉｎ　一样，一了百了。。我也承认我是被社会折磨过，而且我不敢再做傻事，因为结果是惨痛的。我必须注意旁人是如何看我的，我不想被世界抛弃。为了迎合他人，我也必须在痛骂自己的时候，作出虚伪的笑容。。为了不让矛盾激化，我需要忍耐。。学习是痛苦的，我必须接受。。痛苦得让自己从此成为一个正常人，但我还是有谷燕俄社会的气，从骨子里出来的。。